they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
