you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
