So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
