well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
tell me about the eggs
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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