Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
