I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
