I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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