I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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