i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
