what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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