Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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