My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
