that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
