C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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