mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
