can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
