the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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