Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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