Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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