i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Pants are for mortals
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
