The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
