do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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