Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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