sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
