Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just had sex on a roof
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
