I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
