new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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