Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
