Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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