i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
