she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
