I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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