Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
