do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
