he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
