i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we're making bets on your personal life
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
