my mouth tastes like poor choices
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just googled if crying burns calories
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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