I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
worst night to have a conscience
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
