Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
