we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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