What did we do last night that was yellow?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
