I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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