He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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