Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
