Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sorry my hands just texted you
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
where are my eyebrows?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
