I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
