ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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