3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
