You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
North Korea, Best Korea!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
