so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
