**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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