Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
