it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
