and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
