I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
